17 November 2011

I am Thankful

not the greatest picture - but they looked so cute for church

Happy babies!

sleeping with mama



Now thank we all our God
with heart and hands and voices,
who wondrous things has done,
in whom his world rejoices;
who from our mothers' arms
has blessed us on our way
with countless gifts of love,
and still is ours today.
Hymn - "Now Thank We All Our God"

As Thanksgiving approaches I am thinking back to Thanksgiving one year ago. One year ago Erik and I were heading to Grand Rapids, Michigan. We were putting our faith in God and in the doctors that they would help us conceive a baby. This was our last effort....our last hope. Never did I imagine we would be sitting here a year later with two beautiful baby girls.

That 8 day trip in Michigan was a time of intense prayer, intense medical procedures, and intense love between Erik and I. We pressed into the Lord and he led us to that clinic and he gifted us with two precious children. Our previous suffering was not in vain. I subscribe to a newsletter that offers Christian support for couples facing infertility or pregnancy loss. I remember re-reading several articles while we were in Michigan last year...some brought me comfort...others brought sadness. I continue to receive that newsletter and reading it now is so very different...I have a new perspective. The front page article this month was "Making Sense Out of Suffering". The following are so excerpts from the article.

Suffering should remind us that God's ultimate plan for our suffering is to transform it into our good. (Romans 8:28)

Suffering can be transformed by God into His glory.
If God blesses you with a child through birth, you may be led to glorify and praise Him with greater depth and feeling than if you'd never experienced infertility.

I do feel a greater joy in motherhood because of my journey to get here. The journey was rough as we were going through it, but each moment with my girls makes that journey so worth it. God has transformed my suffering and I give Him all the glory.

How are the girls?
Hope and Genevieve are doing great. They are growing so fast...it's amazing. They are now 14 weeks old and I can't believe it. They are changing so much. They are cooing, smiling, laughing, and responding to me so much. I really enjoy the interaction I can have with them now. I read books to them each morning and I try to make big facial expressions and they laugh and smile. They may not understand what I'm saying but they sure do think I'm funny! It's fun to see them explore the world more and more. On the bouncy seat and swing I've had these colorful things hanging for them to see for months...now they can see them and they love looking at them. It was so neat one day to see them just stare up and realize that something was there. They just stare and smile. So cute! I love that they can see color better...makes the world a lot more interesting.
They are getting on a good nap schedule....which helps mommy get a few things done and rest. They are still sleeping in our room at night, but during naps they sleep in the nursery. They still sleep together at night and at naps. I think they are comforted by each other. We can put them in bed and they can be far apart, but the next time we look over they are right beside each other. They are very aware of each other. I love that they have a built-in best friend! I know how amazing it is to have a sister and I am so glad they have each other. I pray that they will be best friends...just like me and my sister!!
They go back to the doctor in a few weeks for the 4 month check up. I am looking forward to seeing how much they've grown. They have gotten so long, I have a feeling they are going to be tall like my dad and brothers.

I will leave you with this poem from my newsletter. It makes me ache for women who will never bear a child and makes me thankful that I was blessed to be able to. These are all questions I've struggled with and makes me think of how it's the little things that truly matter. As you read the line about dirty diapers...I have to say that Erik and I almost took a picture of the first trash day after having the girls...all because the trash was filled with diapers. It truly is the small things!

What Would it be like?
What would it be like,
I want to know,
To have a child
As innocent, as pure as snow?

To hear the words:
"Your going to have a baby-
It's for sure, it's for real"
It's not just "maybe".

To go to the doctor
To hear the heart tick?
What would it be like
To feel the baby kick?

What would it be like,
I want to know,
To feel the pain of labor?
It's me this time, not my neighbor

To give the child a name-
Does she have my eyes,
Or does he have his nose?
Our child looks like us both, I suppose.

What would it be like
Dirty diapers in a heap?
I want to know
Long nights without sleep.

What would it be like
To hear the word "mama"?
What would it be like
To hear the word "papa"?

To have dreams for the future
And tell stories of the past?
To pass down our heritage
So our family will last?

What would it be like to
watch him grow up?
To watch him leave the house?
To see him take a spouse?

What would it be like
To have to let go?
To say goodbye?
Will I ever know?

Thank you all my faithful followers for continuing to read my ramblings. This blog is truly therapy for me.
Love you all!